PLASTIC SURGERY WRECKED OUR RELATIONSHIPS

Feb 26 2005

By Helen Carroll

MOST of us imagine that enhancing our appearance with a nip and tuck would give our love lives a boost.

But for these three women, going under the surgeon's knife proved to be the kiss of death when it came to romance.

Here, they share their stories of hospitals and heartbreak - and reveal how their perfect bodies put paid to their not-so-perfect relationships...

He left me on the day I had lipo

Hairdresser Michelle Black, 30, is single and lives in St Albans, Herts, with daughter Shannon, 11. Michelle says...

I'VE always been a size eight but a few years ago I noticed cellulite on my bum and thighs.

I was desperate to be rid of it. But when I mentioned liposuction, my partner of five years, Richard, told me not to be crazy. I'd had a boob job, taking me from a C to a DD cup, and he accused me of becoming addicted to cosmetic surgery.

It wasn't true. I had the breast enlargement because my boobs had dropped since breastfeeding.

I'd love to be a glamour model, and bigger boobs and a firmer bum might help, but my main motivation for having surgery was to enhance my figure.

Richard couldn't understand this. I think he worried it would make me even more attractive to other men. He even threatened to finish with me if I went ahead with it. I never believed he would.

So the following year I booked in for liposuction, which cost £3,000.

I'd asked Richard to pick me up after the op so when he didn't show up I called his mobile. "I'm not coming," he said. "It's over. I told you not to have surgery and you went ahead anyway. Now I've had enough."

I left the clinic alone and headed for the train station. Then, while standing in a queue at a shop nearby, I started to feel unwell.

I called Richard and begged him to come and collect me. He just told me to get lost and switched off his phone.

I couldn't believe that he was capable of being so callous after all the years we'd been together.

I called the clinic who said it was normal to feel a bit groggy after the operation. But when I got home Richard had packed up and moved out.

I was heartbroken for days but it slowly began to dawn on me that I was better off without him. Any man who could react this way could not be depended upon.

When the bandages came off I was delighted with my new shape. Although it broke up my relationship, I've never regretted having cosmetic surgery.

To leave me over something so minor, Richard could never have loved me enough.

Romance went bust after boob job

Clinic manager Jayne Ray, 44, lives in Huntingdon, Cambs, with her 13-year-old son, Christopher. Jayne says...

I HAD always hated my flat chest and wore "chicken fillet" inserts in my bra to give me a more feminine shape.

But it took the deaths of my mum, nan and ex-husband - all within a few months - to push me in to having cosmetic surgery.

I decided that life is too short to put off doing things to make me happy.

So I told David, my partner of three years, about my decision to have a breast augmentation from a 32A to a D cup. He couldn't understand that I wanted to do it for myself and argued about it time and time again.

Nevertheless, at the end of February 2000 I went ahead with the £3,000 operation at the Linia Clinic in Huntingdon. I was delighted with the results. And my new shape really boosted my self-confidence.

David hated that and accused me of enjoying having other men stare at my chest. When I went out with friends he'd say my top was too tight or too low-cut.

But the biggest problems came when we went to Tenerife. I went topless on the beach and David really didn't like it. He said if I didn't wear a bikini top our relationship was over. I knew by then that we couldn't carry on and for the rest of the holiday we were like two single people.

It was upsetting and liberating at the same time. Once we got back to England, David moved out and I've barely seen him since.

It's sad it ended like that and I've been lonely at times since. But in many ways, thanks to my new figure, I've never been happier.

Husband couldn't stomach me after sexy tummy tuck

Beauty therapist Dawn French, 31, from Dartford, Kent, is mum to Nadine, 10, Amber, four, and Reece, 18 months. She is divorcing taxi driver Chris Byrne, 35. Dawn says...

AFTER the birth of my third child my weight stuck at 13 stone and my belly remained huge.

I hid away in baggy T-shirts and leggings and barely went out.

When I married Chris in 1996 I'd loved showing off my size 10 figure in slinky dresses. But as a size 16 I couldn't stand him to see me without clothes on. So I thought he'd understand when I said I wanted a tummy tuck.

I'd seen a television programme about a South African company which organised cosmetic surgery holidays. The total cost for a tummy tuck, including flights and accommodation, was £2,400.

I pleaded with Chris to give me the money, but he refused to talk about it. When I broke down telling Mum what had happened, she confessed she'd always wanted smaller breasts and said, "Why don't I treat us both?"

It seemed the perfect solution, I'd have my confidence back and feel sexy - and it wouldn't cost us a penny. But Chris just said, "You're not going!"

I was determined, so I booked in to have a tummy tuck with liposuction on August 29, 2003. When I returned home from Jo'burg a week later, with my stomach flat and smooth, Chris said, "You look great."

That night we made love on the sofa, something I hadn't felt sexy enough to do in ages.

The next day I spent £600 on a new wardrobe of trendy gear, ditching my leggings and T-shirts.

Chris was furious at me for spending so much money but I hadn't had new clothes in years. He was madder still when I arranged a night out with friends, but I told him that I loved him and would never cheat.

Mum babysat for us a couple of weeks later so we could go out together, but he didn't seem to enjoy that either.

On Valentine's night, Chris took me to a lovely hotel and I thought things were improving.

But over dinner he told me that we needed some ground rules, which included no more going out alone or buying new clothes. He seemed determined to control me and I knew then that our marriage was over.

Ten months on, we're getting divorced. It seems there wasn't room in our marriage for my new-found confidence. But I have no regrets. It's Chris's loss.

CHRIS SAYS: "Dawn's tummy tuck ruined our marriage. She went into selfish mode, stopped buying things for the kids and spent it on herself. I could only take so much. I'm concentrating on making sure the kids are OK."

BEFORE HAVING SURGERY, ASK YOURSELF...

1 IS THERE AN ALTERNATIVE? You should rule out other options first. Rather than a tummy tuck or lipo, dieting and exercise may do the trick.

2 ARE YOU AWARE OF THE RISKS? All surgery carries some risk - including the chance of infection, blood clots and adverse reactions to anaesthetic. Reduce your risks by choosing a qualified surgeon and closely following their advice.

3 ARE YOU DOING THIS TO PLEASE SOMEONE ELSE? Surgery should always be your decision. If somebody is pressuring you into a procedure, ask yourself if this is something you want to do and why.

4 ARE YOU EXPECTING IT TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE? While it may boost confidence, cosmetic surgery is not necessarily the answer to whatever is troubling you. Make sure you know exactly what you hope to achieve from and whether that is realistic.

5 HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN UNHAPPY WITH A PARTICULAR FEATURE? If a patient has been considering cosmetic surgery for some time, it usually means that it is the right decision for them. Otherwise you need to be sure that your unhappiness with a certain part of your body is not a phase you are going through - in which case surgery is not the answer